Valerie's Memories

The new year is here, and with it come the billions of small promises we all make to spark some change in our lives. For some it will be a brand new creative endeavor  For others it will be the abandonment of bad habit. Almost invariably, resolutions center on the formation or destruction of a habit. Habits are like compound interest. If you understand how to harness their power, the returns in the long run are enormous. But how do we support the willpower it requires to start and sustain a new habit? An often overlooked tool in our quest for habit formation is the simple ritual. A ritual is a series of actions or behaviors followed without deviation. Though rituals are most often associated with religious ceremonies or family traditions, there’s increasing scientific evidence to suggest that rituals appear to benefit even people who claim not to believe that rituals work. Rituals have also been shown to alleviate grief after loss and help enhance confide...

Partying until midnight may not be in the cards for you come New Year's Eve if you have small children.  But that doesn't mean you can't have a great time ringing in the New Year!  Kids can get in on the fun, too; you will just have to make your plans for earlier in the evening and modify them a bit for a young audience. A Geography Lesson Wherever you live, choose a location that celebrates New Year's Eve earlier than you.  For people on the West Coast, this can simply mean celebrating along with those on the East Coast.  But if you are in New York and can't wait for the ball to drop, consider celebrating along with the people of Brazil or Portugal instead; they will celebrate the New Year three to four hours before the East Coast of the United States. Take some time to learn about the place you are choosing and ring in the New Year with some fun food and treats from that place.  Your adjusted New Year's party can be educationa...

On December 31 of every year, the world celebrates New Year's Eve.  Resolutions for the coming year, the feeling of a fresh start and the notion that anything is possible are all common as another year approaches.  Because this day is so special to many around the nation, it's often celebrated with a party.  And what party would be complete without the proper decorations?  Here are some ways to make your New Year's Eve celebration fittingly festive: Do You Have The Time? A New Year's Eve celebration would not be complete without a clock.  After all, the evening's events all lead up to one great countdown that rings in the New Year, so make sure that your party features a large clock that's big enough for every guest to see from a distance.  It should have an hour, minute and second hand so that you can host your own countdown to the New Year with everyone present. Ring In The New Year Everywhere Depending on where you are...

As we enjoy the holiday season, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the season when family and friends gather, and the big picture in terms of how we're all expected to get along on this increasingly crowded planet of ours. The holidays often put people around the table who may not normally see one another throughout the year. Far flung relatives, cousins, in-laws, and other guests-of-guests may come from all walks of life. Their political, religious, and social viewpoints may differ widely from our own. Yet when we see them during the holidays, we do our best to tolerate differences. Ideally, we look for ways to connect rather than provoke arguments. Tolerance is not always the easiest value to embrace. Now, especially, we can find ourselves thrust into polemic arguments driven by political and media forces which command enormous attention and influence. Social media and a profound lack of face-to-face interaction makes it easier to distance ...

Buying a home can be a long process. The last thing you want after all your time spent searching for homes and getting the best mortgage rate is to have everything go wrong on closing day.  Here are five tips that’ll ensure it goes smoothly. 1. Schedule a date that works best for you: You have every right to request the closing take place at an ideal time for you, and the other parties in the transaction will usually work with you to make it happen.  Whether it’s timing the closing around a pay date or the end of a lease, the first step is finding a date that minimizes stress or conflicts. 2. Clarify your payment: Many title companies do not accept personal checks, so give yourself a few days to get a cashier’s check or set up a wire transfer. 3. Double check insurance: You’ll need to arrange for a title insurance policy for your mortgage and purchase homeowner’s insurance (plus flood or earthquake insurance, depending on the area). Make sure your polic...

Unfortunately our homes don’t always grow with us. What may have initially worked fine for a single person, a young couple’s starter home, or a family with a newborn can quickly become too small as families expand and multiple generations live under one roof. Remodeling and adding to your home is one option for creating more space, but it can be costly, and the size of your property may be prohibitive. That’s when moving to a bigger home becomes the best solution. WHERE DO YOU NEED MORE SPACE? The first thought when upsizing your home is to simply consider square footage, bedrooms, and bathrooms. But it’s important to take a more critical approach to how your space will actually be used. If you have younger children (or possibly more on the way), then focusing on bedrooms and bathrooms makes sense. But if your children are closer to heading off to college or starting their own families, it may be better to prioritize group spaces like the kitchen, dining...

Bringing home a puppy means a guaranteed influx of excitement and cuteness in your home, but it also means you’ll need a lot of patience, commitment, and important supplies.  If you’re thinking about getting a puppy, these items should be at the top of your shopping list. 1. Leash: Your puppy needs exercise, but won’t have the discipline to keep from running off. Puppies are still developing strength, so look for a lightweight leash. 2. Crate: Crate training is a common, effective method for house training your pup, plus a crate provides a safe, comfortable place for your puppy at night.  3. Safe toys: Much like babies, puppies are susceptible to choking hazards, including toys. Make sure any toys you purchase for your puppy are appropriate for its age. 4. Food and water bowls: It may come as a surprise, but you should buy bowls that are chew-proof and designed for canines. Puppies often chew on their bowls and cheap, chewed-up plastic can harbor ha...

People love the holiday season. To keep your holiday decorations enjoyable and safe, keep in mind these safety tips. Candles:  Keep anything flammable away from a lit candle. Place the candles out of the reach of children or pets. Blow out the candles when you need to leave the room or go to bed. Christmas tree:  Water the tree to keep it hydrated. Place the tree away from any heat sources. Make sure the tree is not blocking entryways or foot traffic. Hang fragile Christmas ornaments on higher tree branches away from the reach of children and pets. Turn off lights before going to bed. Electric lights:  Lights will be labeled for either indoor or outdoor use. Throw out lights with worn or torn wires. Replace missing or cracked bulbs. Read labels to make sure you are following acceptable wattage levels and are not overloading the circuits. Outdoor decorations:  Fully secure outdoor holiday decorations so they don’t get blown away or stolen. Put l...

Traditionally December is a time for get-togethers with friends and family, celebrations and travel. It is supposed to be an enjoyable time of year. Yet surprisingly, many people feel stressed during the holiday season. How do you make sure that stress doesn’t get in the way of an otherwise pleasant month? Here are some tips that will help. When entertaining, prepare meals well in advance and keep them warm. That way, you won’t be rushing at the last minute and you’ll be able to relax with your guests. When travelling, expect that things are going to be busy and plan accordingly. If you’re flying, for example, get to the airport early. If you’re driving, give yourself plenty of time to get there and take regular breaks along the way. Keep your to-do list short. Don’t do in December what can easily be put off until January. If you have guests staying over, don’t be an innkeeper. Invite them to helpthemselves to breakfast, snacks, etc. Show...

Bluetooth offers great wireless convenience for your smartphone, allowing you to connect to your headphones, car stereo, wireless speaker, and other devices without dealing with a tangle of cords and wires. However, most of us aren’t careful enough when it comes to Bluetooth security. As a general rule, you should turn Bluetooth off on your phone whenever you’re not connected to a device. Forgetting to turn it off will reduce your battery life because it continues to drain power even when there’s no device connected. But, there are even more serious concerns than that. New hacker technologies, called “Blueborne” can scan for open Bluetooth connections and gain access to your device. Once a device has been hacked, it can then be used to gain access to additional devices. It’s not limited to one manufacturer either. Samsung, Google, Apple, and several car audio systems have all shown vulnerabilities. So as a best practice, follow these two tips: 1. Keep you...

Is there a home maintenance project that’s been lingering on your to-do list for too long because you’re dreading the trip to the hardware or craft store? There are some projects you can tackle with items that are almost certainly already in your home. 1. Vinegar: There’s probably a jug of vinegar in your pantry right now. You can soak items in vinegar to remove mineral deposits (like in a clogged showerhead), and you can boil vinegar in your microwave to remove odors and make it easier to clean. 2. Cola: A can of Coke or Pepsi can be used to clean many surfaces, including your glass windows, porcelain toilet, or chrome fixtures. Just do some research before using it on metal surfaces, as it can be corrosive. 3. Baking soda: This item may actually be more useful for applications other than baking. A baking soda-vinegar paste is great for cleaning bathrooms and kitchens. Baking soda can also be used to absorb odors. 4. Butter knife: Screwdrivers are easy to misplace. If...

TO MY AMERICAN FRIENDS, Here we are again in the season of holiday traditions. We travel. We gather. We see those we haven’t seen in ages as well as those we see every day. We take time to remember the ones who could not make the trip, and honor the memory of those who we will never see again. It is not always easy. We have different values and different politics. Our views do not always align, and at times they clash. And yet we almost always find a way to make it through a  meal with love, forbearance, and a reminder to hold tight to what we share, not the least of which is the commonality of our basic humanity. It goes to show there is profound power when we get around the table to see one another. When we meet eye-to-eye and pass the plates around, we reinforce the bonds which matter the most. I know it is not always possible. Sometimes loved ones serve abroad. Sometimes hardship and tragedy prevent us from joining together. If this is the cas...

Does the thought of cleaning the kitchen after your Thanksgiving dinner loom large, casting a shadow over your celebration? Here are some tips for easing the burden! Thanksgiving is a perfect holiday to showcase your home. Every room in the house is part of the entertainment, from the warmth of the kitchen to the elegance of the dining room. There’s nothing quite like hosting your first Thanksgiving.  Unfortunately, there’s nothing quite like cleaning up the mess which accompanies a Thanksgiving meal. From crusty roasting pans to a dozen side dishes, the feat of restoring your kitchen to its gleaming glory can take longer than preparing the food! (And let’s not forget… those guests will be much less eager to help once the turkey and pie put them out on the couch dozing.) Don’t dread the aftermath… prepare yourself with these clutch ideas for a quicker clean up! 1 . Clear your refrigerator. There will be leftovers… will you...

Use these tips to decrease your energy bills and stay warm for the holidays. Use the sun.  Open the curtains during the day to heat your house naturally. Rearrange furniture.  Move furniture away from exterior walls to avoid sitting in drafts. Use fabrics.  Cover hardwood floors with area rugs to reduce chill. Use throw blankets and wear warm clothing rather than turning up the heater. Seal out the cold.  Check and repair sealant around windows, doors, chimneys and air vents to prevent cold air from seeping indoors. Become water-efficient.  Turn down the temperature on your water heater. Do as much laundry as possible in cold water. Take short showers. Disconnect.  Unplug any electronic devices or utilities when you’re not using them. Electronics still use energy when plugged in, even if they’re turned off. Deck the halls.  Use LED lights to decorate. They are more energy-efficient and will cost less for your holiday cheer....

Today marks the start of Veterans' Week both in Canada and the United States. I am sure that many of you know why November is so significant. On the 11th hour of the 11th day of November in 1918, World War One ended. Arguably the most terrible war the modern world had witnessed to date was finally over. Few souls on Earth went untouched in some way by the war. So many served, so many died, and so many took the scars of their experience home with them and did their best to get on with life. All had hoped there would never be cause for such sacrifice in the future. Of course we know the call came again and again. And despite full knowledge of the challenges, horrors, and heartbreaking losses, brave men and women answered the call. They have done so because they accept what it means to serve and defend our most deeply held shared values.   This upcoming  Veterans Day / Remembrance Day  I hope you will join me in a spirit of gratitude for veterans every...

Not if you follow these Safety Tips As Halloween creakily creeps around the cob webbed corner, many of our thoughts will be on decorating, pumpkin carving and costume making. But, before the parade of ghosts and witches comes knocking on your door, here's a helpful list of things that you can do to keep your home and yard safe for all those anxious trick-or-treaters. Clear your yard of ladders, hoses, leashes, flower pots, low tree limbs, support wires and anything that could cause someone to trip. Be sure to keep your outdoor steps, porch and walkways well lit. Use battery powered jack o'lantern candles instead of a real flame. If you do use candles, keep them away from where trick or treaters will be walking or standing. Dried flowers, cornstalks and crepe paper are highly flammable. Make sure paper or cloth yard decorations can't blow into a flaming candle. Consider fire safety when decorating. Don't overload electrical outlets with holiday l...

Scrambling for bathroom space in your home? Wish you had a second shower for guests or a new tub for kids? Here’s what you’ll need to consider when expanding your home’s bathroom options. Have you been living with a single-bathroom home? Is the time here to consider adding an extra full-bathroom or “water closet” to your existing layout? First, know that of all the renovations you can make to a single-bathroom home, adding an extra bathroom is one of the soundest investments you can make.  With rare exception, the money you put into a second bathroom should pay handsomely when you list your house in the future. The bathroom is one of the most-used rooms in your home and it can have a profound impact on how prospective buyers see your home in the future once you’re ready to move on.  If you’ve been curious about the process or want to make the leap two a two-bathroom home without relocating, you’ll want to keep some tips in mind about this special ...

If you feel yourself overwhelmed from time to time by the darkness in the world, be it from current events in the news, or personal struggles, I wanted to offer some encouragement today that might lighten the burden. The American writer Edith Wharton once wrote, “There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” Even when we find ourselves with so little light to share, the one thing sure to enhance our defense against the darkness is reflecting the light we encounter. When we act as a mirror, amplifying the light, we light the way for others. In that spirit, here are seven simple ways to cast or reflect light: 1. Send a simple, honest compliment out of the blue. 2. Give people hope through direct assistance. 3. Introduce someone to a helpful resource. 4. Provide pathways to free education and hands-on learning. 5. Introduce two of your friends who do not know one another yet. 6. Include people in efforts for common (o...

Why do so many online conversations turn toxic? What’s the best way to stay engaged with the good while steeling ourselves against the trolls?  Here are some tips I use to protect myself and my reputation online. Maybe they’ll help you gain a little perspective, too. In our age of nearly instantaneous communication, we find ourselves paradoxically with exponentially more opportunities to make fools of ourselves. With every Tweet, Facebook update, Instagram comment, bulk email, accidental “reply to: all,” blog post (and blog comment), we have countless opportunities to stick our feet squarely in our mouths. What’s even more daunting is how the lack of face-to-face communication makes it easier to be outright negative. How many times have you come across blog and Facebook comments that no one in their right mind would say to someone in person? Character and integrity matter as much as they always have, especially in the professional w...

Discernment, (according to Wikipedia) is defined as “the ability to obtain sharp perceptions or to judge well (or the activity of so doing).” Furthermore “considered as a virtue, a discerning individual is considered to possess wisdom, and be of good judgement; especially so with regard to subject matter often overlooked by others.” A byproduct of our technologically-accelerated times is the pressure to form and share opinions rapidly. Facebook posts must be reacted to, comments are written on the fly, and tweets get launched in response to issues even as they are just breaking into the news cycle. It is as if there is some unspoken fear that silence is the same as acquiescence. Silence is inaction. Of course this is an absurd way to live one’s life. Silence is the space in which we practice discernment. More often than not, a pressured response will lead to misrepresentation or simplification of our views. Why be handcuffed by knee-jerk reactions? We must learn to admit we...

Do you find yourself unsettled by uncertainty in your job, neighborhood, or housing market? Are you looking for ways to anticipate change and flow with the times? Here are some strategies to help you cope with the inevitable and prepare for “what’s next.” These days it can feel like everything is subject to dramatic and sudden change. If you’ve found yourself unsure how to live well in the face of “technological disruption” or other macro forces in the media and the markets, perhaps some perspective will help. Most anger and anxiety around upheaval and uncertainty comes from fear. “Where do I fit in?” “How will I adapt?” Sometimes this fear blossoms into full-blown denial. Denial includes a refusal to accept the changes happening before our eyes, an unwillingness to learn about future possibilities, and self-soothing stories which assure us that all will remain basically the same. Instead, you might do well to enhance your mindset perspective. Here are...

Home investors are always looking to make a nice profit on the homes they flip. Sometimes this leads unscrupulous renovators to make cosmetic upgrades which hide ugly problems. Here’s how to protect yourself. When inventory is tight and newly renovated homes are wooing prospective buyers, you need to take a step back and remember that the home you’re hunting for is a long-term investment.  While futuristic appliances and gleaming hardwood floors may seduce you into making a quick offer, understand that there’s much more to a home than what lies on the surface. Investors who renovate homes want to maximize their profit as quickly as possible. While many are upstanding folks, there are those out there who will cut corners in order to boost their return. Sometimes when a home is renovated, an investor will do a “lipstick flip.” Basically this means fixing up what’s cosmetic and leaving the rest as-is. Paint, flooring, appliances, fixtures… all may get a tune-up. But th...

As the warm months of summer come to an end, consider these quick — but important — home maintenance tasks to finish before fall: Check window seals . Examine the edges of your windows to ensure the caulk shows no gaps. You can tell if a window needs new glaze by lightly tapping the window pane. If it rattles in its frame, new glaze needs to be applied, which will save on your heating bill come fall. Swap out summer plants . Transition your yard from the high maintenance flowers of summer to more hardy plants that will survive the first frost. Good plants for cool weather include pansies and garden mums. Also, now is a good time to prepare for spring blossoms, so plant your tulip and daffodil bulbs. Safety check your chimney . If you have a chimney, regular maintenance is a must to ensure safety. Have it professionally cleaned and inspected this year, and don’t forget to gather enough firewood to get the season started! Inspect smoke and carbon monoxide detectors . D...